what is in a name (likes_to_read) wrote in lifes_questions,
what is in a name

it isn't a life question, but here


last night a girl who invited me to her house and watch tv around 10:30 or so, I went after DVC jazz concert. Keep in the mind this girl and I had some intimacy a couple of times in the pass, but she did not want to get serious, but I did. I was hurt, but i have spend my time recovering the wound. We were going to get late coffee or a late dinner, and she did not want to go home. Our plan was to meet up, then I take her out for some quality time. Long story short, I was at her place, we did not go anywhere, her plan was to watch some tv. Then we were watching boring tv for a while, I gave her a massage, I tried to work my way to her sexual part, but she rejected me kindly. Soon after, she said she was tired and wants to go to sleep. She knows that I did not go out to the city to have dinner with my friends who performed at the Jazz concert. I was thinking a) is this an invitation of a night of romance and b) damn, girl... I ditch a night of fun in the city with friends for you, and you are telling me that you want to go to sleep? She then said "you may spend the night here if you like." I was more than COOl with that. We were both in bed, trying to sleep, then i started. I asked her for a bed time story, she said i cannot read without light, then i asked her a goodnight kiss on the forehead, and was rejected. Then I was fooling around with her, she said no and stop with words, but she was not doing anything to stop my movement, I started licking her ear and felt her down there and tried to turn her on, i even talk sexually dirty to her. Then she finally kissed me back with tongue. Passionately one of her hand was holding the back of my head, i thought to myself IT IS ON, she is now dropping her game, then we kissed for awhile. The second time my I run my hand down to her "woman-ness" it was ready. then I turned her around and move my hand up north for a squeeze, then she got up and said, "my sister will be coming home soon, and i don't want to do this." I tried for a second "attack" but this time, i sensed that she really did not want it to happen. So I stopped. I don't get it, her words were not corresponding well, with what just happened, especially she kissed me back.

I told her tonight is the most embarrassing moment of my life and "i have a purpose to make: let us just be friends." Then we shooe hand and she gave me a hug. That was our goodbye.

I might understand why, but I don't want to accept it. Is there anyway for me to save this, to save us?
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